


I just died in your arms tonight.

by get_molotoved_you_assbutt



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Just generally not a fun time, M/M, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, So much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 23:58:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19283860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/get_molotoved_you_assbutt/pseuds/get_molotoved_you_assbutt
Summary: “Dean?” Cas’s broken cry sounded loud in the night air.“I’m here, Cas, I’m right here,” Dean’s voice was ragged, “Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”





	I just died in your arms tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> All I will say is I'm very sorry.

“Dean?” Cas’s broken cry sounded loud in the night air.

“I’m here, Cas, I’m right here,” Dean’s voice was ragged, “Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”

Cas was cradled in Dean’s arms. It wasn’t a rare sight these days, Cas enjoyed being held by Dean and Dean enjoyed holding Cas. It had taken them both years, idiots as they were, to realise that the affection each harboured for the other was reciprocated. It had all come to a head a year and a half ago with a drunk confession of love and a long night of stolen kisses and long shared embraces. Six months later Dean had asked Cas to marry him, giving him Mary’s ring, which Dean had worn all these years, to show the angel that they would be together for the rest of their lives. It had been a small ceremony, they didn’t have many friends left to invite, but they’d been happy. So happy. It hadn’t been plain sailing of course, but then no relationship ever was. They’d had their disagreements, their fights, Dean had even walked out at one point, but they’d always come back together, made amends, fallen back into each other’s arms. And they’d finally had a year together, one glorious, perfect year. A year that felt like barely any time had passed at all. 

And now, with the sun rising over the hills to his right, Dean sat here leaning against the impala, cradling Cas close, holding him tight as if that could stop the life draining from his body. He buried his face in Cas’s hair, pressing light, desperate, kisses to his crown as he breathed in the scent of Cas.

“I love you, Dean. I love you so much.” Cas’s voice was quiet, almost a whisper, “I just want to thank you, for everything, this last year has been the best of my li-”

Dean held the angel tightly as his body doubled over, convulsing with another fit of coughing. A few flecks of crimson landed on Cas’s shirt to join the wide stain still slowly spreading from the hole his chest. Cas sat back up, wincing. 

“I love you too Cas. Don’t worry, we’ll find a way out of this, we always do!”

“Dean,” Cas’s voice was even quieter now, “We both know I can’t come back from this.”

Dean felt panic rising in his throat, no, this couldn’t be right. Cas. Bull-headed, brilliant, beautiful Cas – _his Cas_ – wouldn’t – no – couldn’t just give up. There had to be a way, had to be something they could do to stop this.

“No, Cas - you have to - you can’t just - please - not like this - your grace - you could -” 

“The curse, Dean, I can’t heal through any means, magical or otherwise.” Cas’s murmer broke through Dean’s words, silencing him in an instant. Cas leant back into Dean’s arms, one of his hands reaching blindly behind him to cup Dean’s face, the other tightly grasped Dean’s knee. “I’m going to die here.” 

“No, Cas, please. You can’t just leave me.” Dean’s voice broke into a sob, the tears he had tried to keep at bay spilling over, running hot and bitter down his cheeks and over Cas’s hand. “Please, Cas, I love you.” 

Dean brought his hand to Cas’s cheek, feeling Cas’s tears run freely over his hand, carving tracks in the blood that stained it. Cas turned his head into Deans palm, brushing his lips over it in a barely there kiss.

“And I love you, Dean Winchester.” 

The reverent murmur echoed into the night as with a flash of gold light from his eyes, Castiel took one final shuddering breath and then fell back, limp and lifeless against Dean’s chest.

Pain shot through Dean’s body as his world was torn asunder.

He screamed.

Dean Winchester sat in an abandoned field, clutching the body of an angel and crying his anguish to the world. He didn’t see the wings burnt into his chest or along the side of the impala. All he did for hours was rock his husband’s cold lifeless body as the sun rose to greet him.  
Clouds swirled overhead, pale and light against the clear blue sky when Sam found Dean, silent and unresponsive, curled around Cas’s body. Sam knelt next to Dean, a hand on his shoulder, muttering words of kindness and love in his brother’s ear. Not that he heard them. All Dean could hear was Cas; his final words echoing in Dean’s mind as they would for the rest of Dean’s days.

As Sam lay the fallen angel over his lap Dean saw Cas’s face. His eyes, once so bright and expressive, staring blankly at Dean had been more than he could bear but the finality that had come with Sam closing Cas’s eyes had torn more harsh sobs from his chest.  
Eventually Sam got Dean into the back of the impala with Cas laid over his lap. He drove them home slowly and in silence.

\---

Tears streamed down Dean’s face as he stared at the smouldering pyre. In his right hand he clutched the blue tie that Cas had been so fond of. In his left was his ring, Mary’s ring, _Cas’s_ ring. Cold against his palm. His last reminders of the man he had loved so fiercely, the man who had carved a place for himself in Dean’s heart, the man he couldn’t save.

Dean fell to his knees, clutching his chest, the burns that would be with him forever.

“I love you, Cas.”

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said, I'm sorry!
> 
> I've been sitting on this since I did a bunch of writing for lent and my friend [its-funnier-in-enochian-assbutt](https://its-funnier-in-enochian-assbutt.tumblr.com/) reminded me about it because they found the drawing they did which inspired me to write this. So now I'm smad at my past self for writing this and making present me sad!!
> 
> Feel free to shout at me in the comments or leave any advice, as always it's very appreciated!!
> 
> You can also shout at me over on [tumblr](https://get-molotoved-you-assbutt.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read this, have a great day! 💙


End file.
